Clare’s story of finding herself again.
Clare – what she thought she needed to do to fix things.
Let me introduce you to Clare, a fabulous woman in her mid-forties. When she first came to me for coaching Clare was feeling stuck, a little lost and fairly frustrated. She told me “I know there is something else for me, I want inspiration and something to energise me, I just don’t know what it is or how to find it”. She was pretty sure that if she could get a new job, lose a bit of weight and set up some routines at home, all would fall into place.
We dig a bit and find Clare is the woman wearing too many hats
Clare told me about how important her family was to her and she talked proudly of her three children and their various skills and talents. Clare’s husband was operating his own business and in recent years Clare had devoted her time to helping him set up the business and then grow it into a successful international venture, she was immensely proud of her husband’s hard work and achievement.
What Clare didn’t talk about, was herself. She didn’t mention her achievements of raising children, helping grow her husband’s business, her university qualifications, her career or being involved in local community projects.
Pretty quickly, Clare made a major discovery
Clare didn’t need to lose weight, join a gym, get a job or set up a family timetable. What she needed was to spend time on herself, to find out what excited and inspired her. To discover what got her bouncing out of bed in the morning and what kept her energy and wellbeing topped up throughout the day.
With some inspirational goals to work towards, there was no stopping her…
As we worked on achieving her goals we identified the behaviours, habits and beliefs that were holding her back. In fact, what we discovered was that Clare was being all things to all people. She was trying to be the perfect wife, mother, friend and daughter! Helping out at her children’s schools, supporting her husband’s business, doing all the home duties, running her kids and other’s around to work, sport etc, hosting gatherings at home where she did all the cooking and preparation. She wasn’t doing anything for herself. No wonder she was exhausted, overwhelmed and feeling frustrated!
Once we saw clearly what was going on, Clare was determined to change the things that weren’t serving her.
During our work together, Clare learned to:
- Set boundaries – she learned to say no with grace and without guilt
- In her own words – ‘Find herself again’
- Do things because she wanted to not because she ‘should’
- Allow, and expect, others to do their share
- Carve time out each day to reflect and listen to her inner self
- Feel pride and respect about herself
12 months later Clare continues to inspire and achieve
- She is thrilled to be starting her own business – something she never even dreamed of doing!
- She has new energy and bounce! She’s found a way – that suits her – to incorporate exercise and movement into her life
- She’s signed up to an art class to let her creative side flow and emerge
- She has formed connections and networks based on her new interests and pursuits
- She has a household where everyone does their fair share – not because Clare created a super timetable – but because she started valuing herself and her time